When Things Fall Apart

Stuff happens–all the time–in life, in relationships, and in business.

Just the other day, I was on top of the world. I was in New York City having some amazing business meetings and heading to a lunch meeting with one of my spiritual mentors, Marianne Williamson, when I received an unexpected phone call. BAM! I was stopped in my tracks.

I have definitely received worse phone calls, but this was upsetting “news” to my business. I love working with my team—those people behind the scenes that help me inspire you on a weekly basis. And, now, the team is changing.

The owner of the company called me to share the news. He is going to work for another client full-time and is closing his company for personal reasons. Reasons I can identify with and hold with compassion.

There are events that are not predictable and sudden change can feel very personal, yet it is mostly impersonal as you look at the bigger picture.

Now, I could immediately jump to why this felt like a betrayal in those moments where I personally was affected by his decision—or, I can see it as it is. There’s a bigger picture, and it’s not personal to me—it’s not about me.

On the surface, it might look like things are falling apart, but what I’ve learned through the years of raising kids and all the years of living, is that this is a normal part of expansion and growth. It’s as Marilyn Monroe said years ago, “Things fall apart so better things can come together.”

Change is a reality. When one piece of the puzzle falls away, it leaves a temporary hole. A missing piece allows for the jagged edge of growth. (And, the jagged edge can be uncomfortable because it is, afterall, the edge of the unknown.)

Immediately following this news, I had to talk myself off the ledge of panic. We had plans and there are unfulfilled expectations—there are feelings of disappointment. As I acknowledge all of these things, I simultaneously remind myself—this is not personal. There’s a bigger plan in the works right now even if I can’t see it.

Panic can shut down a creative response to a situation.

Whereas, holding a positive attitude can open up the possibilities.

Fear always results in frozen creativity and dramatic knee-jerk reactions.

As I pause and breathe deeply, those thoughts of disappointment fade into the background dissolving into the edge of growth. Now, it’s time to begin evaluating the future with excitement. Anticipation of what’s to come that will fill this missing space in the puzzle. The beauty of the unknown is in the adventure. I’m flexing my faith muscles now—that well-sculpted resiliency—that well-won way of looking at things through the lens of wisdom and through the lens of my empowered reality.

I gently remind myself that there’s nothing to worry about. In this moment all is well, and when chaos happens—it just means something creative is on the horizon.

There are endings and beginnings—and endings and beginnings and on and on.

This storm will pass. Order will be restored. All things will return to peace. I will keep inspiring you.

This is how, no matter what, I live my most vibrant life.

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By | 2017-08-05T10:55:30+00:00 August 2nd, 2017|Living The Big Stuff|6 Comments


  1. Paula Hill October 19, 2016 at 6:07 pm - Reply

    Reminds me of the great Pema Chodron’s book by the same name…she’s my hero! If you haven’t read it…a must!
    Since meditating, tapping, upping my game with psychic readings (I’m a Medium-nothing to do with size!) I move out of reaction a lot more quickly. Recently had to “Call” a program I worked on for a very long time, pleaded with locals for support in filling the space, only to be crushed by disappointment. Cried for a bit, threw a pity party.
    Then, I thought, “Ok, what’s next?”
    No one can take away your dreams, goals, wishes, when they are really, truly what you want. It’s a choice. Someone has to make it!
    I decide to take the next step.
    For me, there really IS no other option, ’cause i believe I deserve it!
    Thanks for the reminder.

    • Kristine Carlson October 20, 2016 at 5:51 am - Reply

      Hey Paula, A momentary pity party is normal…glad you broke free quickly. I don’t tarry long in self pity–it’s a dangerous place. love to you, Kris

  2. Jeanne dowell October 19, 2016 at 9:13 pm - Reply

    Thanks Kristine for sharing… This sharing came at a good time for me.

    Knowing there is something greater on the other side of the door.

    We need to be reminded of that always.

    • Kristine Carlson October 20, 2016 at 5:50 am - Reply

      Thanks, Jeanne…glad the timing is right on for you! big hug!xo

  3. Ruthie October 20, 2016 at 7:33 am - Reply

    Wonderful, Kristine. So open and honest. Just so happens, I’m working on a blog about disappointment. It’s all about releasing the fear and outcome. I love the line, “Fear always results in frozen creativity and dramatic knee-jerk reactions.”

    Can I borrow that? 🙂

    Excited for the new things coming your way!

    • Kristine Carlson October 20, 2016 at 7:36 am - Reply

      Hey Ruthie, Please quote me in your blog–if that’s what you mean by borrowing? Love and hugs your way too! xo Kris

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