LIVING THE BIG STUFF

I prescribe to the idea that our learning is never done. Truth is, I love to be a participant at a workshop as much as I enjoy teaching. Every year I immerse myself in a week-long experience where I become the student again, opening myself up to growth and transformation.

Last year was a highly productive year. (And by that I mean, busy. And oh so fun.)

With a new book out, I was all the way out there as I promoted and launched that baby. From Heartbreak to Wholeness is a book that I had to birth. It was a project with a long gestation period: ten years of healing. Little did I know a decade ago that 2019 would hold the birthday of these healing words.

Many of my single friends are driven to obsession with finding a mate—whether again or for the first time. Yet, despite my widowhood, I wake up happy and rarely feel lonely. Sure, there are times I would love to turn over at night and hug my partner in bed. But mostly, I’m sleeping peacefully these days and waking up in joy.

I had a comical moment with my kids recently. They suggested I might be getting a bit forgetful. I must admit that I felt a little defensive about that. After all, I was one week in to overcoming jet lag and switching my days and nights around. I had traveled from the Bay Area to the mountains—from sea level to 3,700 feet. And, I’d just changed my diet from having a carb fest in Italy to a low-carb Keto diet. There was just a tiny bit I was asking my body to acclimate to—don’t you agree?

About ten days ago, I woke up at 3am, feeling restless. Several friends from my Italy retreat had decided to travel on with me to Florence, and that night we were settled right in the heart of one of the most gorgeous cities in the world. I was eager to get up to watch the sunrise over the Pontevechio.

I wonder what my younger self thought I’d be like in mid-life. I suppose I thought I’d slow down, rest more, move more carefully. And now as I sit in bed writing this blog at 4:55am, with a full day ahead of me, I chuckle to myself. So much for slowing down!

Do you ever think about the word retreat as it’s used in battle?

When troops retreat, they make a choice to leave the fight for a while. Battle requires intense perseverance and extreme focus; it’s exhausting. After all, even the bravest warriors reach their limits.

As I sit here and ponder my book launch this past week and a half—yet another book born into the world, now ten days old—I am thinking about the events of the past days... all the podcast interviews, the Hallmark Home & Family show, the book launch parties and events and signings yet to happen; it’s all been a whirlwind of joy.

When you are in the early days of loss, happiness can feel like a long-forgotten dream. Any little inkling that vaguely resembles joy feels surprising, in fact—a snippet of emotion so foreign amidst a sea of grief.

I hope to be… in spirit, inspired.

Do you?

It looks like a heart gently carrying a spark—something like the flame of a candle fanned—that ignites us and lights us.

Are you feeling stuck and unable to move forward? Perhaps you’re in a place in your profession or a position in your relationship where you feel caught in limbo. That feeling of “not here, not there, waiting for the not yet” is so common.

Do you enter relationships with your walls down and your heart exposed? Do you engage in tough conversations with kindness and truth? Do you speak with authenticity and worth, regardless of the situation?

I spent the last three days reading my new (soon to release!) book aloud. I was holed up in the Outpost Studio in San Francisco, recording the audio version of the book—and I must tell you, it’s a beautiful and strange experience to read the sentences of your own story into empty air for hours on end.

I recently joined a club in San Francisco called The Battery. One evening, the new General Manager, Megan, hopped up to give a short speech.

The best moment in her meet-and-greet intro was when she said, “I’m not eye candy; I’m soul food.”

Several years ago a friend asked me to meet with a young woman who had just lost her husband. So I dined with Chelsea Dinsmore at a local restaurant one day as she recounted the tragic story of sherpas carrying her young husband’s body off Mount Kilimanjaro.

Life itself is an epic journey. If you are in your thirties, forties, or even beyond, I know you’ll agree that in looking back, you can clearly mark the dots where certain events changed life dramatically and altered your path. I have certainly had my moments where I had to stand at the fork and choose.

I wish I could say that I always feel great and shine brightly—but that is not the truth. As I sit here writing my new year’s message on New Year’s Eve, I’m all stuffy and sniveling with a cold.

We are full on humming along in December!

Happy holidays—with merriment and delight!

If so, enjoy!

But, what if you’re not feeling it? What if you’re feeling “blah humbug?”

The other day as I walked into my Zumba class, a woman walked up to me, and I was honored when she said, “Kris, whenever I have a question, I think to myself, ask Kris.” In that moment, I realized that I would love it if more of you wrote into me with questions that could direct the content of my blogs and podcasts.

It seems every week now there is a mass tragedy occurring some place. Whether it’s mother nature doing her thing or a loose gunman terrorizing a public venue, when I turn on the news, I feel like we are under siege.

There’s only one question we need to ask ourselves every moment: What is the most exciting thing I could be doing right now?

In my own discomfort and feelings of unraveling grief as I watch the devastation of my neighboring community of Sonoma County engulfed in flames, I turned to Joel S. Goldsmith for inspiration: Awakening Mystical Consciousness.

I recently had some minor surgery, and it forced me to slow down to a snail's pace and stay home. At first, it was all a physical thing. Any kind of surgery completely knocks you down for a few days as your body rushes all the energy and blood to heal the trauma of a knife.

Truth is, we are not always attracted to what’s good for us. Sometimes, our greatest rush is the excitement of what’s new and unexpected… [...]