Without JudgmentApr 28, 2016 2021-05-04 21:02
If you could adopt this one idea, “it’s all perfectly imperfect as it is,” you will free yourself from so much pain and suffering. Your experience of every moment will exponentially deepen with acceptance, and you will become liberated from having unreasonable expectations that can be a ball and chain to your inner experience of joy.
Here’s the inquiry: What is perfection, and how does it play out in my life?
The definition of perfection is faultlessness and flawlessness, rightness and precision.
There’s nothing wrong with striving for excellence and doing our very best. Let’s say you’re a Blue Angel pilot—then, precision is absolutely a necessity for those moments that you are in the air with your team. If you’re a surgeon, then exactness is required as you intricately work on someone’s body.
While perfectionism can manifest in care and due diligence, it can also leave in it’s wake despair and suffering when applied to life circumstances or even our standards for others—as we alone are the judge of another’s flaws or flawlessness.
If you can strive for excellence without adopting the habit of judgment of yourself and others, then in essence you will practice seeing the world through the lens of “it’s all perfectly imperfect as it is.” It’s the same as saying my favorite Don’t Sweat it mantra: “Do your best and let go of the rest.”
Every moment of discord can be used as a teaching moment to let go of the need to have things turn out or be a certain way.
The other day, a friend of mine was describing how she found herself feeling shunned from a woman she was seated next to on a plane. The woman seemingly ignored her efforts to be friendly, and Marie walked away with the judgment that this woman was cold hearted and mean spirited. Then, on her return flight a few days later, Marie found herself sitting in the same seat next to the same woman. As the woman turned to her this time, she smiled and opened up the door to conversation by complimenting Marie. They began to speak and the woman explained that she had been on her way to the funeral of her closest friend and was now returning home. Marie felt a bit foolish at her lack of ability to understand that this was the reason for the woman’s silence and not because she was unfriendly or mean spirited. She was deep in thought—deep into her own experience.
You just never know what’s going on in someone else’s world.
As you let go of the need to judge the situation at hand—which creates separation—then you have the possibility of opening your heart to complete inner connectedness to all that surrounds you. Then, you can see the innocence in others and experience a deeper sense of compassion and acceptance.
As you connect and engage more deeply in this way, you will be on your way to living your most vibrant life.