Often when we think of forgiveness, we consider it being something we give to another, but forgiveness is more about freeing yourself. I wrote this chapter in Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Women almost two decades ago. Time sure does fly, doesn’t it?  How poignant all of those chapters (that I wrote in a very golden era of my youthful life) have been to my life now!

It’s funny, because while the voice in that book is a bit different, the wisdom remains tried and true, and it continues to serve as a template for living gracefully.

Holding onto anger is damaging to your mind, body, and spirit. Science says that fifteen minutes of rage is like smoking a pack or two of cigarettes; it’s that bad for your heart and health. Beyond that, resentment and anger build a wall around your heart blocking you from love, imprisoning you from a world of joy that awaits you every moment. This is how forgiveness can rib you!

We all feel angry and sad from betrayal, bullying, or being targeted by the ill will of another.

Here’s the inquiry:

But, for how long do you allow the past to permeate the present moment and future with its shadow of negativity?

Who is in charge of your heart?

Recently on Facebook I posted about the arrest and imprisonment of a person who had a serious obsession with me and my family. (He stalked us relentlessly with a seven year campaign to penetrate our lives and do harm.) In the post, I spoke of my forgiveness of this person. The United Kingdom news columns that wrote about it didn’t seem to understand how I could have already forgiven Mark Jury for his seven year destructive bullying campaign.

I was very much aware that I wasn’t dealing with a sane person.

And, I knew I could not expect sanity from someone who is not capable of it.

Here’s the mistake that people make and how we lose perspective. We forget that our form of reality is how we see the world. Not everyone shares the same reality. In fact, no two people see the world through the same lens.

Happiness is all about keeping life in perspective; forgiveness plays a role

Knowing about separate realities helps me access compassion even for a sick stalker.

In this way, I was able to forgive him although I stood vigilant in seeking justice for his behavior.

Forgiveness is and was a gift I gave myself to stay inspired amidst seeing the dark side of insanity.

Sanity, insanity and common sense are a fine line from one another. And, each of us draw that line every day with our thoughts, deeds, and actions.

The ability to access compassion and forgiveness frees me from fear and allows me to live unaffected by the trauma of what happened in past years. It allows me the grace to move forward unfettered by fear.

Forgiveness is the light from which love prevails and miracles await us.

Forgiveness liberates me to live my most vibrant life yet.