Reflecting on this past year, it’s been a big growth year, and can you believe how fast it flew by? (That’s a nice way to say it has been challenging alongside receiving many blessings.) However challenging it might be, it is not insurmountable. There have been births in the family and losses. There have been graduations and new beginnings. There are aging parents and grandchildren growing into bigger shoes.

What I’ve learned this past year has been invaluable, and every lesson that came to me through some undesirable, wrinkle my nose and toes kind of circumstances, even though they were a bit edgy, have helped me learn what it means to be trusting but also to be discerning. I remain open, kind, generous, compassionate, and courageous, but I’m going to put this well-earned wisdom into action and be a far more discerning woman in 2015.

The other day while making the trip up to Mt. Shasta for Christmas to be with my family, I stopped to get gas. A young man who was hitchhiking approached me at the pump. He asked me for money, and I gave him two bucks, and apologized that it was all I had in my wallet, and I asked him if he would like a turkey sandwich from Whole foods. He said, “Thanks,” as he took the two dollars and the sandwich, but “What I really need is a ride.” I told him it’s not safe to pick up hitchhikers. He said: “It’s not safe to hitchhike.” I said: “Well, why are you doing it then?” He shrugged without an answer as he headed into the mini-mart with a, “Thanks, anyways.”

Even if I had room in my car, (he would have had Bear, my 78 pound golden retriever on his lap!) as an act of discernment, I would not pick up a hitchhiker (not to be judgmental) but because the risk is too high.

As I continued North on highway 5, I contemplated why there are so many capable young people wandering the California-Oregon border? Is it because they are craving simplicity or do they want to evade responsibility? Perhaps many of them are on a pilgrimage, of sorts, until they discover their life purpose? Are they afraid to fall or are they afraid of what it will mean to fly? Perhaps, what appears to be “wandering” to me, in a separate reality, is flying for another?

It made me think of the times that I, too, have wandered or been sleepwalking even amidst meeting my responsibilities as a wife and a mother—just going through the motions but not feeling super engaged or passionate.

Have you ever felt that way…like you were sleepwalking through life?

Now, I am committed to living life awake and not sleepwalking. I am committed to honoring my life purpose while helping other people do the same—rediscovering life from where we are now—together.

I am also committed to being more discerning in my personal life as well as my business. “Discernment” is the word that has emerged for me to embrace fully in this new year.

There was a time after Richard’s transition where I felt so courageous. Getting up in the morning and taking care of our girls was enough, and I didn’t realize how vulnerable widows are in those first few years. Distracted by all sorts of new pressures as I faced my life alone assuming the responsibilities I had, along with all of Richard’s too, I was heartbroken wide open and vulnerable. I now know that what I lacked was the quality of being more discerning in my decision making skills. Richard had, after all, protected me this way my whole adult life, and he clearly was more discerning than I — up until now.

Needless to say, it’s been a living the big stuff year, and without getting into specifics, I’ve had some challenges and a bit of housecleaning to do. (Metaphorically speaking) I’m always in a process of change and rediscovering how to live life on my own with a new feeling of sovereignty.

Perhaps, you are feeing that way, too?

And, as an entrepreneur who values the spirit of the feminine greatly, in business and in all aspects of my life, I will continue to be fluid and intuitive as I meet life with a far calmer form of enthusiasm.

Part of becoming more discerning in my career is taking more time to pause and evaluate opportunities before saying, “Yes.” It’s easy to become distracted by something that’s shiny, or an attractive invitation or offer, but when I sit with it for a while instead of jumping in head first, then I can take time to go inside asking if the invite serves my “work” or pulls me off course. The big question I’m asking myself is: Is this project in alignment with my life purpose of spreading divine light and love and does it light me up with joy to serve in this capacity?

I wish I could tell you that I wasn’t afraid of things like aging, but there are times when I feel a sense of urgency that time is running out and there’s more for me to accomplish. I also wish that I had no fear of what my future holds or what the future of my family will be. I feel uncertain about world peace and our ability to sustain Mother Earth. These concerns trouble me for the future and the lives of my grandchildren. Honestly, while I feel these passing moments of fear, my gut knows that finding the courage to face the unknown is not in the absence of fear. Facing life’s challenges with courage has everything to do with my ability to face my fears and move through them; as I do so, I open doors of possibility, and you will too.

Let’s fly together in the coming year in 2015, as we face the unknown with courage while discerning what is most important and valuable to us with a renewed sense of adventure!

Don’t sweat the small stuff, live the big stuff!