Love Others the Way You Wish to Be LOVED

love others the way you wish to be loved blog
Living The Big Stuff

Love Others the Way You Wish to Be LOVED

It’s often the people closest to us that are the most difficult to love unconditionally. It could be a sibling that triggers you constantly, a child who is disrespectful, a wavering, taciturn teen, or a boss who is critical. There are any number of people we may be constantly annoyed by, but instead we are called to love.

This is one of the great human challenges to rise above.

In all instances if we could sit in a space of love–responding from it instead of reacting from our ego or the fear-wounded self–most of our conflicts would drive us toward clarity and ultimately more affection and true connection.

There is a great gift in conflict that is resolved heart to heart—it’s a deeper understanding. You just need to be willing to do your part to dive deep for the pearl.

So often this is not the case, however. Families feud. Neighbors curse each other. Spouses lie to each other. Parents become alienated from their teens. Siblings never get over their rivalry, and people quarrel over religion and politics–constantly.

Conflict can drive friends, family, community and spouses apart.

Ego creates separation where unconditional love and forgiveness is called for.

Deeper connection can happen if one person sets their ego aside

And decides to love the other the way they wish to be loved.  I know it sounds simple to do, and it actually is if you have the mind for it. It takes maturity, practice, and the ability to pause before reacting, with the wisdom that it’s more important to facilitate a deeper understanding and peace than to be right.

Last year, I was in a deposition because I was being sued. My golden retriever, Bear, greeted one of my previous neighbors on the trail and knocked her down breaking her shoulder. After answering a bunch of questions–some of them downright infuriating like: “Why did you name your dog, Bear?” (Bear has a big cuddly head—surprise, he’s not a Killer golden retriever.)

The opposing attorney also asked me how I felt about this woman who was suing me now. I said honestly, “I have no ill feelings towards her. I think it’s disgusting that this lawsuit is not about fair compensation, but is about greed and getting more money. But, I’ve always thought she’s a nice woman whom I’ve enjoyed and never had a problem with. In fact, on many occasions in the past, she would leave a small bag of books at our door with a note from her to have Richard sign them for her friends.

At the end of the deposition, my attorney said he had never witnessed one with so much laughter and ease and that I had the opposing attorney groveling in an unusual manner of softness. (I guess he is generally more gruff and aggressive with other people.) At curbside, he asked me how I did that? I replied, “I’m not sure, but I do my best to stay tuned in with a loving heart…no matter what is said, I respond with that heart without being walked on.”

Incidentally, we were one week away from having a courtroom trial and the miracle is that we settled out of court.

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Loving deeply is offering kindness without judgement and harsh words even in challenging situations and conflicts.

Love others the way you wish to be loved

Love the sibling that drives you crazy. Love the disrespectful child. Love the neighbor with the barking dog. Love the one that is full of anger and hate. Love the one that is suing you. Love, love, love.

As you hold up the mirror of love, the ego is dismantled and cannot survive the power of love. That’s when a miracle can happen.

As you are called to love, you will be living awake to your most vibrant life.

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