Woman to Woman

Let’s pretend for a moment that we are having a glass of wine together, and we are in circle of women who have lost the man in our lives. We are modern day widows. We find ourselves on this unexpected sovereign journey that we are not very sure of, and we step forward not because we want to, but because we have to.

We still feel married to our man long after he is gone, yet we go to bed at night alone. The snoring that I use to find annoying at best would be welcome comfort now. The warmth and safety of having him next to me was a feeling I took for granted for many years. Now, I wake up at 2 a.m. alert and longing.

We are not girls any longer but full-grown women whom are accustomed to having our physical bodies satisfied and loved by a partner. Then, one day, we look in the mirror with a bit of terror realizing that our youthful appearance winks at us from the shadows of another life. We aren’t mated any longer, and we have to negotiate our relationship with this new woman who has sexual feelings and needs that must be tended to just as a rose needs water.

Your first step in this negotiation process is to look in the mirror and see yourself with new eyes of acceptance. I know this may be difficult for you, but give yourself permission to feel sensual. You aren’t being unfaithful to acknowledge the fact that you have physical needs. What you need most is to establish a new relationship with yourself. As you become familiar with your own body, again, notice your lovely curves with adoration. Feel your tingling skin and the rise and fall of the landscape that you may have lost touch with. Bask in the deliciousness of candlelight in a bath of your own pleasure. You are learning the true art of self-love and being comfortable in your own skin. It’s quite an opportunity if you embrace it for what it is. Open yourself to yourself and you will learn and discover how being alone is only an illusion because you are never alone when you are in partnership with yourself.

I look forward to sharing more about love, relationships, connecting with this inner partnership in the coming months.

Kris